Single Father with MS is Struggling

Hi! My name is Josh. I’m a single father of a beautiful little 7-year old girl named Faith. She is the light of my life, and I would do anything for her. Which is why I’m here to ask for help. We have been struggling for a while now. We need help.

Here is our story:

Back in 2018, I learned the devastating news that my father had stage 4 colorectal cancer. This shattered my world. He was (and still is) my hero.

Four years prior to this, my wife, our 6-month old daughter, and I moved several hours away from where my father lived. So when this diagnosis came, it was difficult to get down there to spend the time with him I wanted to. I worked third shift and took care of our child during the day while my wife worked.

Later that year, in October 2019, I lost my job. I worked at a place that limited the number of call in days per year you had, and after a few hospital visits between my daughter and myself, I had come close to that limit. Then my daughter wound up in the ER late one night for a severe ear infection. I knew I risked losing my job, but I wasn’t going to let her suffer, so I headed to the hospital and called in. Shortly after, I lost that job for that very reason.

Then the next month, right after Thanksgiving, my wife ended our marriage. It was one of the most difficult times in my life. I had already been suffering from depression since getting the news that my hero was going to die. I tried to stay hopeful, but it was difficult. We actually continued to live together for our child for a bit, which didn’t make it any easier.

In January 2020, I wound up in the hospital for a few days because of my heart. The doctors still don’t know what happened. I had become “tachycardic” (my heart beat was in the 140 range for several hours and over 110 for nearly 2 days) and had also had “atrial fibrillation” (abnormal heartbeat) at the same time. It wasn’t a heart attack, which was what I was assuming it was, and as I said, the doctors never figured it out. My belief, now, is that it may have been an early sign of the MS, but we’ll never be sure.

The following month, on February 13, 2020 (the day before my daughter’s 5th birthday), my father passed away. I had to act like nothing was wrong until the 15th because I didn’t want to stain my daughter’s birthday with this news. So on the 15th I traveled back to take care of my father’s funeral and pack up his apartment, as I was the head of his estate. That was an incredibly hard week, going through his belongings, making preparations for his funeral, being away from my daughter, still suffering depression, all without the one man who I always leaned on in hard times. A man I never got the chance to properly say goodbye to.

Then Covid hit. We went into lockdown. My ex-wife moved out of state. I was alone, away from all of my friends and family, jobless, and depressed, taking  care of my 5-year old daughter on my own.

We struggled, a lot. But I always seemed to find a way. The rent and bills always got paid, things were… ok, for a while. But it became harder and harder to stay hopeful. Money was drying up. My saving was emptying month after month. The small nest egg my father had left was running out. And I was (and still am) having a difficult time finding work, as I have no form of childcare where we live. 2.5 years unemployed, desperately wanting to work, and not being able to. It takes a toll on your self-worth.

Then in August of 2021, I suffered a slight back injury, which resulted in some numbness in my lower half, or so I thought. The numbness lasted about a month or two, but the MRI and x-rays didn’t show any reason why it would’ve happened. Again, the doctors couldn’t figure it out.

Flash forward to February 2022. The numbness returned and spread to other places. And I had suddenly lost most of my strength on the left side of my body. More tests were ordered, more blood work taken. And a month later, my neurologist believed he knew the reason for everything.

Multiple Sclerosis.

And after even more tests and a round of steroid infusion treatments, I was officially diagnosed in early June of 2022. And since then the MS has gotten so much worse. To the point I can barely walk anymore. 

We lost our apartment and had to move in with my ex-wife’s parents, and was also recent denied for disability (but I’m still fighting for it), so I am asking for help, something I hoped I’d never have to do. I want to eventually have enough to move us back home, to where most of my friends and family live. But for now, I just want to survive. To be able to pay our bills.

So please help, if you can. Thank you.